The sandwich in need of housing can't consult Zillow. Nor will the multiple listing service do. She's got to pound the pavement of the actual market, in the bakery aisle.
Her dream home should have it all: sturdy construction that can support a crisp chicken cutlet, room for the rambunctious peppers and tomatoes and neat curb appeal. Sliced bread is out of the question. Too many windows, as it were. Her agent suggests she confine her search to rolls.
In today's hot marketplace, there's plenty of inventory. The submarine: capacious, if a tad nautical. The hero: similar, though more grandiose. The club roll: compact, but rather exclusive. Ciabatta: overbuilt. Kaiser: bad karma.
The agent saves the best for last: the hoagie. It's strong, but not tough. Spacious, but not sprawling. Complete with a tasteful, tender-crumb interior. The sandwich moves in immediately and, after a quick toast, closes the deal.